In The Unit Of Months

I have been quite irritable lately.

I can't help but feel bored.

Boredom is a disease which nibbles you away whenever you acknowledge its existence. Lately I have been trying to occupy myself with exciting things - walk out of classes to watch the sea, lay on the bed, listen to music, draw... - I do these in knowledge that there's another big world would there waiting to be discovered. But somehow, I am obligated to stay and wait in my little time capsule.

I stay in my time capsule with other prisoners. There are two kinds of prisoners - there are nice, 'bad' prisoners, and then there are 'good' prisoners who make you feel bad. We all sit here together on this island, watching each other waste away period after period. We complain (all the time) and yet do nothing about it. We are dreamers, who dream dreams about our tomorrows and we discuss about our moments in the outside world. Our lives matter only in the unit of months.

D J F M A M J J A S O N D J F M A M J J A S O N D

I am jealous. Everyone is around me is moving onto somewhere. I like looking at their pictures; pretty pictures of them doing their daily monotony. Such interesting things! Eating on grass patches, laughing, making noise, friendster surfing at night, dancing, human looking girls, styling your hair, phototaking with friends... hamburgers... parties... Well, not long ago I attended a people party (a party with people), I did try and have fun but I must say I kinda forgot how. I became an awkward man who stood aside in his neatly tucked in shirt, hands behind his back. People were running around talking, laughing, taking photos and I only knew how to sit straight, hands on my lap. It was fun watching them fool around but sad to say, I felt like displaced.

I remember telling myself that this two years would be a metamorphosis stage for me, but it seems I have forgotten much what I was planning to change into and evolved into a post.

I'll admit it.
I'm bitter.